Thank you, helpers

Last Friday was a very bad day. It started off with me meeting some friends for lunch.. During lunch I had no idea about the shootings in Newtown. But, while sitting in my car afterwards, checking my phone (while parked) I quickly got caught up on the tragedy. I was crying, and so so mad/sad/confused/anxious/scared. Normally reading about terrible things that happen in the news doesn't really move me to the point of tears, but oh my gosh, reading about those children being killed, along with the teachers and administrators who loved them, totally rocked me to my core. Sadness turned to anger and I was pissed. I was pissed that someone would go that crazy. I was pissed that someone that mentally unstable would have access to guns. I was pissed that anyone had guns. I was pissed at guns. I was pissed no one saw a warning sign. You get the point. I was mad. But throughout the day, while reading the news and hearing more details, I became sad again. Then, Friday night and into Saturday morning I became thankful. I became thankful that there are teachers out there who truly, truly love their students. Reading the stories about the teachers who both lived and died trying their very best to save their classrooms moved me. I have many friends who are excellent teachers. One of which is on her way to becoming an elementary school principal, so of course, reading about the principal who threw herself at the mad gunman, quickly reminded me of her. Reading about the teachers who hid their students in cabinets and closets and bathrooms, later to die after saving the children, or to sit and read to the kids to calm them, made me think of my other friends, who I know would do the same in a heartbeat. Teachers will never get the credit they deserve.

This post is not about gun control, God being in or out of the classroom, mental stability, or anything political. This post is simply about good people who helped and tried to help other people. There is nothing I can type that can possibly capture the sorrow that I feel for the families who have lost a loved one. Adult or child, losing someone you love is incredibly hard. As a parent, there is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, scarier than the thought of losing your child. Last night, when president Obama referenced a friend who compared parenthood as being like having your heart walking around on the outside of your body, he got it right. There is no love like the love a parent has for their child. This is why I wanted to write this post. I am thankful that there are people out there, other than myself, that are willing and able to protect our children while we, as parents, cannot be right beside of them. These teachers and administrators are proof of that. Not to mention the first responders, other school staff, police, and anyone else that I know I have left out. As terrible as the shooting was and still is, I am so moved that Vicki Soto, a 27 year old teacher gave her life trying to protect the children she loved. She is a hero. The principal, Dawn Hochsprung, who lunged at the shooter, in an attempt to stop him from shooting people in her school. She is a hero. All of the other victims are heroes. The survivors are heroes. Terrible things happened on Friday, but if you look beyond that, there are also some very moving and good things that happened too.

I thought to myself, I could move forward and think about this shooting and be mad about it. And realistically, I will probably become mad at some point thinking about it in the future. But, I am going to try my hardest to move on and only think about the good people that were there. The helpers, the heroes. Our world is a scary place. Sometimes it is hard to find the good. But, the good is there. God is there. Every day people are suffering. And tomorrow and the next day people will suffer. We can't live our life scared of the suffering. I am going to try my best to live the rest of my life looking for the good. I want to be a helper. I want to teach Ben how to be a helper. I know I will slip, and bitterness/anxiety/sadness/madness will try to come up and make it's way out and ruin a day here and there, but I find comfort in knowing that there is always a way for me, or you, to be a helper. To be a light of goodness in this world. My challenge to you is to become a helper. I hate to sound corny, but sometimes this world needs a little corniness. Sometimes the world needs an extra person to two to help someone carry their groceries to their car, or to pay for another person's lunch, or just to give someone a hug and look them in the eye and tell them that you hope they have a good day. We all need to hear that every once in a while. Sometimes we all need to be more patient, and intentionally be more kind.

I pray that those who are suffering find comfort somewhere. Please don't let yourself get lost in sorrow. There are good people in this world. People who care. Be a person who cares. Be a helper.

I know I am the biggest slacker/loser ever

So.. yeah.. about that. Ben is almost two years old. I have been so busy this year that I have forgotten to post any updates, yeah right. I am just too lazy to sign in and work with this complicated blog thing, even though it's so easy, so damn, I really have no excuses huh? Anyways.... let's move on :)

Ben at the beach, Memorial Day weekend 2012

I will try to wrap up the year 2012 in a quick nutshell. I quit my job, am a stay at home mom, start a new job after the new year and we have moved out of our condo and into a new house (with an awesome backyard). Are you tired/bored yet? Ben is still as amazing as ever. He is officially a little man child. Honestly, he is the most hilarious kid ever (so says every mom, about their own child, in the world, ever). He has hair now, so that's good :) It's so funny how bald he really was. I didn't really notice it until I looked back at pictures. Pretty funny. He is talking up a storm. Today he said "butt" for the first time, and wiggled his cute little rear. Funny now, until he's like 3 right? Wink.

We joined a church (I want to be pretty vague, in case someone wants to come kidnap me from church or something, obviously that's pretty rational, right...) last January, and since then Ben has been baptized and started preschool. He goes two days a week and seriously loves it. I seriously love it too. Those 3 hours are precious, precious time.

I could seriously sit here and gush about Ben the whole time, but I won't do that to you, although I'm pretty sure the only people that read this are my parents, so they would totally appreciate it.. anyways. I'll just do a quick recap of Ben's year and leave the nitty gritty deats up to other individual posts.

Ben is talking. Like, full on words, sentences, phrases, songs, anything, you name it. Of course when he says milk it sounds like eeek, but who cares? I know he means milk, so that's all that matters. Some words he is saying clearly: hey, bye, Chris, Lawren, mommy, daddy, Bec Bec, pops, Lolly, ball, house, wow, woof woof, butt, eye, nose, giraffe (impressed yet?), cat, anthropology (just kidding)... anyways, you get the point! He's a little genius baby! ;) His favorite songs are "Row Row Row Your Boat", "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Little Bunny Foo Foo". Love. He does all of the hand motions and everything. Super cute. I am a terribly proud mom and love bragging as you can see. I only like telling the world the good stuff so I will leave out the tantrums and the non sleeping (still) and the never-sitting-through-a-meal-ever-at-a-restaurant-ever parts... but regardless. A child comes with all of the bells and whistles, that includes the good, bad and ugly, and you, as a parent, have to roll with it, or else your child will seriously take you down.. I am not joking. They will take.you.down. Like literally, at the food court at the mall Ben one time wrestled my sister to the ground. Good Lord that boy is strong.


Ben loves playing outside, is totally into construction equipment, Elmo, and Winnie the Pooh. His favorite show is still Little Einsteins. He is really into Santa this year too, which is fun. Every time he sees someone/something wearing a version of Santa's red hat he says "ho ho ho". And since I've started playing Christmas music in the car he won't let me drive two feet without screaming "HO HO" until I turn it to his favorite song, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town". Evan and I cannot wait til Christmas morning. Santa is surely going to be good to that little boy!

Speaking of, we are HOSTING CHRISTMAS at our house this year. YAY! Ben gets to wake up in his own bed (who the h*#$ am I kidding, he will wake up in mom and dad's bed) and get to walk into our living room to see what Santa brought! So exciting!!! Love getting to be a kid again through Ben's eyes. It's one of my favorite parts about parenting.

So, I truly hope I can keep up more regular blogging. It's so fun to go back and read each of my previous posts... There is so much I can't remember.