Wowzers... so we're in the final stretch to ONE year. I cannot believe how fast this year has flown by. I'll admit the first 12 weeks seemed to go by so slow, but after Ben hit 3 months, time has absolutely flown. We have had a blast, and when Ben turns one I'll write a post about my "stand-out" memories of the year, but for now I'll give you a quick 11 month update.
Ben can now officially stand for long periods of time by himself. He is also taking the occassional step or two, but still really not interested in full-on walking. I guess his official "first" step was taken sometime around Thanksgiving. I know, I know, I should have written it down, taken a picture, scrap booked it.. but, unfortunately I'm not that on top of things, and probably never will be. So, a monthly update will have to do.
He can also open the doors in our house. This wonderful little gem started a few days ago. We are going to have to add-on to the baby proofing this weekend. You just can't hold this guy down.. he will figure out how to get where he needs to go. It's really funny to watch too, because he gets all the way up on his tip-toes, and reaches high for the handle. It takes him about 30 seconds to pull the handle down, and open the door- but the look of determination in his eye proves he's going to do what he puts his mind to. I like that. I love watching him figure things out. I'm constantly letting himself figure out how to get himself out of "situations"- haha.. that sounds bad, but you know what I mean.. For example, if he is trying to pull his socks off, and can't get them, he will look at me to do it... but I just look at him and say "You can do it!" and he will eventually figure it out. He may get frustrated at first, but it's all worth it when he finishes something all by himself, and looks at me and laughs with pride.
He is adding to his vocabulary. He can now say:
"bottle" (dot-tle)
"diaper" (dia-perrr)
"da-da" (he is now pointing to Evan and saying da-da)
"bye-bye"
"wow"
"Bec-Bec" (Rebecca)
"Doggie"
Still no "mama" yet.. but that's Ok, he'll get there. I mean, I only stand in front of him everyday pointing at myself saying "mama" over and over again... he HAS to eventually start saying it, right?? :)
I'm in the process the process of trying to teach him how to feed himself, so we can make the transition from baby food to real food. He can already pick up the "puffs" and bits of bread, etc.. but I'd like for him to start feeding himself more fruits and veggies. I'm so sick of the jars of baby food... and I think Ben is too! Ideally I'd like to continue feeding him (mostly) organic food. I'd say so far he eats about 85% organic. I'm not a nut about it though, it's ok if he doesn't always get to eat it. But, the less chemicals the better, right?
I'm transitioning from formula to whole milk. Right now we're adding an ounce or two of whole milk to his bottles a few times a day. And, whenever he gets a sippy cup it's either water or whole milk we fill it with. He LOVES whole milk. I wanted to transition slowly because I've heard horror stories of quitting formula cold turkey and immediately switching to whole milk. Hopefully doing this will keep Ben's stomach happy. But, who knows, parenting is all trial and error- we all do the best we can and cross our fingers a lot, right??
As for Ben's stats.. I'm not really just the exact numbers, but I believe (according to Robert's scale at Oakwoods Grocery over Thanksgiving- HA) Ben weighs 22 lbs 2-3 oz, and I'd estimate that he's about 32-33 inches long. He is now wearing 18-24 month clothes... but can honestly still fit into 6-12 mo pants. He has the tiniest waist ever.
His favorite toy right now is his Baby Einstein music table- which he found hidden in my closet. I was saving it for either Christmas or his birthday, but when I saw the look of pure joy in that boy's eye when he found it, I gave in and let him have it. He was SO excited.
We are so excited for Christmas and his birthday. Like I've said in earlier posts, holidays are so much fun with a baby. I'm sure it only gets better as they get older and know what is really going on. I can't wait to tell Ben about Santa and his reindeer, for him to sing Christmas carols, and to see the look in his eye when he races down the stairs to see if Santa came! I know this will all be a few years down the road, but it is all so exciting. We are having Ben's first birthday at my parent's house in Wilkesboro this year. It will be nice to have it there. Much more room than our place in Raleigh. And, if weather stays the way it's been lately, we may even get to play outside.
Well, that about wraps up his 11 month update... any earth shattering news I forgot I will add, if it comes to mind. Oh yeah... and he's STILL not sleeping through the night- lucky us???! :)
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thanksgiving
How is it mid-November already? I don't understand. Time has certainly flown by, it totally wigs me out that Ben will be turning one in 1.5 months. WOW. More on that in another post. In the spirit of Thanksgiving I wanted to dedicate this blog to my wonderful little Ben. Since there are 30 days in November, I wanted to give you 30 reasons why I am thankful for him... even though I could probably name 30,000.
1. Ben has introduced me to a totally different and wonderful kind of love. I thought I loved my husband, parents, siblings, friends, etc... and then Ben was born. The love you have for your child is unlike any other. It totally transforms you. You love your husband in a totally different way too. You see your parents through new eyes, and your love for them changes. Your siblings, who become your child's aunts/uncles, are now different (better!) people. The birth of your first baby opens the floodgates, and the love you share for those closest to you now is multiplied by 300. It is a wonderfully awesome feeling. And the best part is, as each day goes by I love Ben even more.
2. I have learned to prioritize what's really important. New moms can be kind of psycho (me, most definitely, included) but once you step back, and take a deep breath, you realize whats important. Ben has showed me that laughter, love, and hugs outweigh clothes, hair, shoes, etc.. Material things mean so much less to me now, and I am so very thankful for that.
3. I am thankful that Ben's smile can change a bad mood into a very good mood.
4. I am thankful that Ben has made me a better person. I live a little more cautiously now, drive slower, think more about what I say before I say it, and countless other little things. But, overall Ben has made me a better person. I am happier. I am more fulfilled. Since Ben is going to be a reflection of those around him, I want that behavior to be positive, loving, and happy. Therefore, I am a more positive, loving and happy person.
5. Even though at first I worried more, now I worry less. I am SO thankful for this. Babies are so unpredictable. You never know what they are going to do next. This makes it pretty impossible to plan your day 100%... I have (slowly) learned that all of my worries are out of my control. I now know that God is in charge, therefore I'm learning to worry less and just enjoy the ride. It's much more fun this way.
6. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband.
7. I am thankful that Ben has a wonderful father.
8. I am thankful that holidays are SO much fun with a child. You get to relive being a kid all over again. Halloween was a blast. I can't wait to see Ben's face on Christmas morning. I know he's still so young, but I still think it will be so much fun to see him rip the wrapping paper off of his presents.
9. I am thankful for Ben's grandparents, who all love him so much.
10. I am thankful for Ben's aunts and uncles, who all love him so much.
11. I am thankful that Ben is healthy.
12. Ben is really funny. I am so thankful for this. His laughter creates laughter. There is much more goofiness in our house. Evan and I will do ANYTHING to make him laugh, this includes crawling around, climbing in boxes, dancing like a nut, making silly sounds, and the list goes on...
13. I am thankful for Ben's sweet hugs. Now when he hugs me he pats me on the back, it seriously melts my heart.
14. I am thankful that Ben lets Evan put him to bed at night. I get to spend all afternoon with Ben, but Evan doesn't get home from work until late, sometimes 7:00. So, he doesn't get much time each day to play with him. Luckily, Ben lets Evan rock him to sleep. Evan enjoys this time and so do I. It gives me a break at night while letting Evan sneak in some quality daddy/son time. Win/Win forboth all of us.
15. I am thankful for Ben's little toes.
16. I am thankful that Ben can high-five me. This is another one of my faves. Whenever I say "high-five" Ben slaps my hand and squeals in delight. It's so fun and funny. He's so proud of himself, and I'm so proud of him.
17. I am thankful for the huge grin Ben gives me when I walk in the door.
18. I am thankful for the huge grin Ben gives Evan when he gets home from work.
19. I am thankful that Ben was OK when we had to take him to the ER a few weeks ago. (We thought he swallowed something.. he gagged a little, and screamed a lot..after an x-ray he was totally fine!)
20. I am thankful that we've found a church we like that Ben can grow up in.
21. I am thankful that lots of our friends have babies around the same age. We can all be sounding boards for each other. In the beginning this was especially important, because there are LOTS of questions when you have a new baby. I am also thankful for the friends who don't have babies (yet ;) We don't know what we would do without yall!
22. I am thankful that Ben has an aunt who lives in Raleigh. Rebecca is a BLESSING. Her love for Ben is amazing. I don't know what I would do without her.
23. I am thankful that I've had much more patience than I would have expected in dealing with Ben's sleeping issues.
24. I am thankful that when we need to catch up on sleep Ben has grandparents who are MORE than willing to come and take him for a night or two. It's good for everyone. Evan and I get to catch up on sleep, and Ben gets some QT with his grandparents. It's very important to me that Ben spends as much time with them as possible. They love it, and so does Ben.
25. I am thankful that Ben was a surprise. God has perfect timing.
26. I am thankful that my parents have taught me how to do the right thing. I still and will make mistakes, but I hope to instill "the right thing" in Ben's brain.
27. I am thankful that Evan and I have jobs and we can support Ben.
28. I am thankful that my job is so flexible, so I can spend my afternoons playing with Ben.
29. I am thankful that I get to relive my childhood over again through Ben. It's so exciting to watch him learn/see/do new things.
30. I am thankful that God decided it was my turn to be a mom and it was Evan's turn to be a dad. It has changed everything... for the (much) better.
1. Ben has introduced me to a totally different and wonderful kind of love. I thought I loved my husband, parents, siblings, friends, etc... and then Ben was born. The love you have for your child is unlike any other. It totally transforms you. You love your husband in a totally different way too. You see your parents through new eyes, and your love for them changes. Your siblings, who become your child's aunts/uncles, are now different (better!) people. The birth of your first baby opens the floodgates, and the love you share for those closest to you now is multiplied by 300. It is a wonderfully awesome feeling. And the best part is, as each day goes by I love Ben even more.
2. I have learned to prioritize what's really important. New moms can be kind of psycho (me, most definitely, included) but once you step back, and take a deep breath, you realize whats important. Ben has showed me that laughter, love, and hugs outweigh clothes, hair, shoes, etc.. Material things mean so much less to me now, and I am so very thankful for that.
3. I am thankful that Ben's smile can change a bad mood into a very good mood.
4. I am thankful that Ben has made me a better person. I live a little more cautiously now, drive slower, think more about what I say before I say it, and countless other little things. But, overall Ben has made me a better person. I am happier. I am more fulfilled. Since Ben is going to be a reflection of those around him, I want that behavior to be positive, loving, and happy. Therefore, I am a more positive, loving and happy person.
5. Even though at first I worried more, now I worry less. I am SO thankful for this. Babies are so unpredictable. You never know what they are going to do next. This makes it pretty impossible to plan your day 100%... I have (slowly) learned that all of my worries are out of my control. I now know that God is in charge, therefore I'm learning to worry less and just enjoy the ride. It's much more fun this way.
6. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband.
7. I am thankful that Ben has a wonderful father.
8. I am thankful that holidays are SO much fun with a child. You get to relive being a kid all over again. Halloween was a blast. I can't wait to see Ben's face on Christmas morning. I know he's still so young, but I still think it will be so much fun to see him rip the wrapping paper off of his presents.
9. I am thankful for Ben's grandparents, who all love him so much.
10. I am thankful for Ben's aunts and uncles, who all love him so much.
11. I am thankful that Ben is healthy.
12. Ben is really funny. I am so thankful for this. His laughter creates laughter. There is much more goofiness in our house. Evan and I will do ANYTHING to make him laugh, this includes crawling around, climbing in boxes, dancing like a nut, making silly sounds, and the list goes on...
13. I am thankful for Ben's sweet hugs. Now when he hugs me he pats me on the back, it seriously melts my heart.
14. I am thankful that Ben lets Evan put him to bed at night. I get to spend all afternoon with Ben, but Evan doesn't get home from work until late, sometimes 7:00. So, he doesn't get much time each day to play with him. Luckily, Ben lets Evan rock him to sleep. Evan enjoys this time and so do I. It gives me a break at night while letting Evan sneak in some quality daddy/son time. Win/Win for
15. I am thankful for Ben's little toes.
16. I am thankful that Ben can high-five me. This is another one of my faves. Whenever I say "high-five" Ben slaps my hand and squeals in delight. It's so fun and funny. He's so proud of himself, and I'm so proud of him.
17. I am thankful for the huge grin Ben gives me when I walk in the door.
18. I am thankful for the huge grin Ben gives Evan when he gets home from work.
19. I am thankful that Ben was OK when we had to take him to the ER a few weeks ago. (We thought he swallowed something.. he gagged a little, and screamed a lot..after an x-ray he was totally fine!)
20. I am thankful that we've found a church we like that Ben can grow up in.
21. I am thankful that lots of our friends have babies around the same age. We can all be sounding boards for each other. In the beginning this was especially important, because there are LOTS of questions when you have a new baby. I am also thankful for the friends who don't have babies (yet ;) We don't know what we would do without yall!
22. I am thankful that Ben has an aunt who lives in Raleigh. Rebecca is a BLESSING. Her love for Ben is amazing. I don't know what I would do without her.
23. I am thankful that I've had much more patience than I would have expected in dealing with Ben's sleeping issues.
24. I am thankful that when we need to catch up on sleep Ben has grandparents who are MORE than willing to come and take him for a night or two. It's good for everyone. Evan and I get to catch up on sleep, and Ben gets some QT with his grandparents. It's very important to me that Ben spends as much time with them as possible. They love it, and so does Ben.
25. I am thankful that Ben was a surprise. God has perfect timing.
26. I am thankful that my parents have taught me how to do the right thing. I still and will make mistakes, but I hope to instill "the right thing" in Ben's brain.
27. I am thankful that Evan and I have jobs and we can support Ben.
28. I am thankful that my job is so flexible, so I can spend my afternoons playing with Ben.
29. I am thankful that I get to relive my childhood over again through Ben. It's so exciting to watch him learn/see/do new things.
30. I am thankful that God decided it was my turn to be a mom and it was Evan's turn to be a dad. It has changed everything... for the (much) better.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Get Your Read On
At a whopping 10.5 months of age, Ben has become quite the literary whiz kid. He LOVES to read. He loves flipping through the pages, looking at pictures, and sitting my lap while I read him stories. I love this. I hope he never grows out of this, because reading is such a wonderful hobby. I want to remember what his first favorite books are, so what better way than to write a post on it. Here are his top five reads:
Oh how Ben loves his "Elmer". This book has seen better days. Ben loves it so much that he has ripped pages out. I've tried to tape back together what I can, but I still find bits and pieces all over the house. This was one of the first books I received for Ben, from one of my mom's good friends, at a baby shower she threw for me. We even have the little stuffed Elmer for Ben to play with.
I love the book "If Jesus Lived Inside My Heart". It's so sweet, all about being good and doing the right thing. It teaches kids how to always make friends with the kid who doesn't have many friends, to share your cookie with your brother/sister, and to be nice to your parents. It's not a corny book either. Just a straight-shooting read on how to do the right thing. I hope Ben takes these words to heart.
"Goodnight Moon" is one of my all time faves. I read it when I was little, and Ben loves it now. My dad even recorded it for him, which is so sweet! It's a classic for sure.
Monday, October 31, 2011
10 Months, Whaaat up
I know I say this all of the time, but how is Ben already 10 months old? He is too cute right now. First of all, he's hilarious. I know every mom says this about their kid, but seriously, he's really funny. He gets this look in his eye like he's getting ready to do something crazy/bad/dangerous and then will turn and grin as if to say "you know you can't get mad at me, I'm too damn cute". Of course he would never say damn, because he's too damn cute for that.
Everyday I feel like he's about a second away from just standing up and walking around by himself. He's cruising everywhere. For those of you who don't know, (I, for one, had to google "cruising") cruising apparently means pulling up and walking around by holding on to furniture. He can stand alone for brief seconds at a time, but (is it OK that I am kind of excited this happened??) there was a major set back about 3 weeks ago. He got a little too ambitious in his skills, and let go of his trusty table, and fell straight sideways directly onto his shoulder. That threw him for a quite a loop. He screamed for about (what seemed like) 20 minutes- it was probably like all of 90 seconds. I honestly thought he had hurt himself, but after a little bit he was back to playing. Since then he's been a little more careful and cautious about letting go of things. To tell the truth, I am pretty excited about this little accident, because, quite frankly, I am not at all ready for him to start walking. I am still getting used to the fact that he can crawl around our house in a matter of 15 seconds, so I can't even imagine what it's going to be when he's walking all over the place. Going by the speed that he crawls, there probably won't be much walking anyway, it will more than likely be running, meaning I am going to be even more tired than I already am...But, whatever, I'm excited either way! I think it will be great AND hilarious when he starts running/walking all over the place. New adventures everyday, I'm sure!
Speaking of tired (I did mention that earlier, right?) Ben doesn't sleep. Ever. For almost 6 weeks he's been a teeerrrrible sleeper. It's insanity. Like, literally, I think I'm going insane sometimes. He's been better the last week or so, so I finally feel like a human being again, but up until then it was really hard. He was waking up every 2 hours, wanting to eat, and screaming. At first I thought it was his teeth, or a growth spurt, or something short-term, but when it continued for over a month I started to get a little bit concerned (Evan and I need to sleep!!!!) Not to mention that Ben needed his sleep too! At Ben's 9 month check-up, which was in early October, my doctor recommended we give him Tylenol + Ibuprofen one time, right before bed, for a week. He felt like his teeth were hurting him and the medicine would get him back into a rhythm of sleeping longer than 15 minutes at a time. Of course medicine wasn't his first option, but we had done the whole "cry-it-out" Ferber thing for THREE weeks, by the book, and it wasn't working at ALL. So, our doc knew we needed sleep, and knew Ben needed sleep too. He assured me this would work. The doses were pretty high, so for a 20 lb baby this should knock him right out..right?? .... WRONG. Ben is apparently some kind of super baby with the ability to tolerate doses of medicine that would normally knock out a 30lb baby. Ben was still waking up 2 hours after we put him in his crib, and then every 1-2 hours after that. After doing this for 3 days I stopped giving him the meds, because they obviously weren't working, and I didn't want to give him medicine for no reason. We were back to square one. So the following week I contacted the dr's office again. About 24 hours later I finally convinced the nurse that I needed the dr to call me back directly. After a 45-minute heart to heart with Dr. K that night (yes, he called me directly, which was awesome!) we decided that maybe some of the food he was eating is hurting his stomach. So we cut out all solid foods for a week, to see if that made a difference. After the first 24 hours of no solids Ben slept from 11-6!!!!!!!!!! OMG. Waking up after more than 2 hours of consecutive sleep made me feel like I could run a marathon. A-mazing. The last week or so have been a little easier. Last night he slept from 8p to 1, then from 1:30 to 7a. I'll take it! We are slowly starting to reintroduce solids back into his diet, to see if there's something we're feeding him that's making his belly hurt. It's frustrating at times because it's so much trial and error. But, listen, when it comes to sleep I'll try about anything. Sleep deprivation is a total b-word, which, in turn, makes me a total b-word ;)
Regardless of our sleeping "issues" Ben is an absolute joy. He is learning new things every single day. Now he can point, hug, laugh, babble (on and on and on..) wave bye-bye, cruise, stand for brief seconds at a time, entertain himself while I'm cooking dinner or cleaning.. and the list goes on. What is cracking me up the most right now is his ability to laugh hysterically when he gets excited. This isn't the laugh he had when he was 3 months old, this is the mama-im-so-excited-right-now laugh that comes deep from his belly. He will start doing this when we are playing or I chase him around the house while he's crawling. He thinks it's so funny when I crawl around with him. I'll have to get a video and post it on here, because it's hilarious.
Another thing he does now is crawl into his room and sit right by the door and say "bye-bye" and close the door (like he needs some alone time). Meanwhile, I'm outside of his room, I'll knock, and say "Ben, can I come in?" and then I open the door ever so slightly. He will then peak his little head around the smile real big and then scream "BYE-BYE" and close the door again. This is so funny to him. When he closes the door I can hear him laughing on the other side, and when I knock he breaks out in hysterics. We do this for about 10-15 every.single.day. I LOVE it. I guess it's his version of hide-and-seek.
He still loves pretty much any food, and now when we go to restaurants we can order him noodles with olive oil and he can eat that! He seems to really enjoy them. The more texture the better! Avocados, bananas, carrots, sweet potatoes, anything green, and yogurt top his list of fave foods. And when I feed him, he likes to hold his own spoon, and "feed" me while I feed him with a separate spoon. It's pretty darn cute!
That's my ten month update! If I think of anything else, I'll post!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday Night Victory
So... Yay! 1 of 6 recipes completed. Tonight I made my version of chicken tostadas. PS, I did not go by the recipe I posted at all. Here's my version:
**optional: Black beans or refried beans for sides (I used both and mixed them together)
Prep Work:
Dice 1 red pepper + 1 green pepper + 1 red onion + 1 tomato
Cut Mission white corn tortillas into quarters (I used about 10, which yielded 40 chips and we have leftovers).
Start cooking your side dish over low/med heat and set aside while doing everything else
...prep work complete ;)
Ingredients:
6 chicken breasts
1 red onion
1 red pepper
1 green pepper
1 or 2 tomatoes (I just had one, so I just used one)
2 small cans of green chiles
3/4 cup cream cheese
1 packet of Old El Paso original taco seasoning
10 Mission white corn tortillas (cut into quarters)
1 cup Smart Balance veggie oil
1 cup of water
Sour Cream and Mexican cheese for topping
**optional: Black beans or refried beans for sides (I used both and mixed them together)
Prep Work:
Dice 1 red pepper + 1 green pepper + 1 red onion + 1 tomato
Cut Mission white corn tortillas into quarters (I used about 10, which yielded 40 chips and we have leftovers).
Start cooking your side dish over low/med heat and set aside while doing everything else
...prep work complete ;)
Instructions:
1. 6 small chicken breasts + 1/2 coarsely chopped red onion dumped into a pot of boiling water for about 20 minutes (or until chicken is cooked through) set aside to cool
2. Sweat out peppers, tomato and 1/2 red onion in a saute pan for about 10 minutes
3. While veggies are cooking, chop up your chicken
4. Heat 1/2 veggie oil in separate frying pan (I started on high heat, then backed off to med-high)
5. Add shredded chicken to veggie mix
6. Add green chiles to chicken/veggie mix
7. Let cook for about 5 minutes over med heat
8. Add 1 cup of water to chicken/veggie mix
9. Add packet of taco season to chicken/veggie mix.
10. Add cream cheese, stir well, and let simmer for about 20 minutes over low/med heat
Now.. start making your tortillas
1. Add corn tortilla triangles to the veggie oil you had heating up
2. Once golden brown transfer them to a paper towel lined baking sheet (be sure to keep an eye on these, otherwise they will burn!)
3. Repeat these steps until all pieces are cooked, then sprinkle with a touch of kosher salt! Enjoy!!
I served this with the chicken mixture as the main dish, and beans and chips as the side- adding a healthy dollop of sour cream and cheese after plating. Here is the finished product:
It was delish- I will admit, not the healthiest meals I've ever made, but I felt better frying the chips using the Smart Balance (that evened things out, right??)
Friday, October 21, 2011
Pinterest Goal: 5 Days 5 Recipes
It's obviously old news that Pinterest is the new.. well, "thing" right now. I have to admit, I absolutely Love it. I'm obsessed with pinning recipes/outfits/home decor/books/ideas for Ben's 1st bday.. and the list goes on. I have really made an effort to cook more during the week so it's nice to have one place with all of my recipes. It's also a great place to go to find new ideas (that, and foodgawker - which is another obsession of mine.. another day, another post).
I'm trying to put my new Pinterest obsession to good use, so my goal next week is to cook something new every day. It can be a dinner, dessert, anything...a way to justify my minutes (hours) spent on Pinterest each week. I'm also going to try my hand at a little baking over the weekend. Evan's parents are visiting Saturday, and I think I want to try my hand at these homemade oreos.
I'm trying to put my new Pinterest obsession to good use, so my goal next week is to cook something new every day. It can be a dinner, dessert, anything...a way to justify my minutes (hours) spent on Pinterest each week. I'm also going to try my hand at a little baking over the weekend. Evan's parents are visiting Saturday, and I think I want to try my hand at these homemade oreos.
They look delish, and fun too. When I make sweets like this I have to make sure there is someone around to eat them up so I won't gorge myself all weekend- cue Evan's parents + little (bigger) brother Luke, who, I am sure, will enjoy them.
So, here is my master plan for dinners next week:
Monday: Spicy Chicken Tostadas
Tuesday: Stuffed Zucchini
Wednesday: Breakfast Pasta
Thursday: Date night, and I ain't cookin' ;)
Friday: White Bean Chicken Chili for Friday and through the weekend
+
I'll update throughout the week with how everything turns out. If I was really fancy I'd whip up some of the these bad boys... look how pretty:
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
1, 2, 3, MOVE
Evan and I put our townhouse on the market this summer in hopes of selling and moving to a one-story ranch style home with a yard that Ben could grow up in. But... that didn't exactly happen. Literally the day we put the for sale sign in front of our house, the bottom fell out in our neighborhood. We found out that the most recent sale was WAY lower than what we were expecting, and because of that, others in the neighborhood with homes on the market ended up lowering their asking prices. Love this economy... not. We decided to rethink our strategy for the future. Because the rental market is (fortunately) very strong in our neighborhood, we decided we will rent for a year, to see if the market will even out a little bit. Renting would give us the freedom to move somewhere fun for a year. We didn't want to buy anything without selling our home first, so we set our sights on renting a fun condo or house in downtown Raleigh. If we don't do it now, we will never do it. And how fun will it be to be downtown? Walking distance from the Y, great restaurants, parks, museums, trails, the list goes on.
Fast forward a few weeks and we are now all moved in to our downtown condo! We love it. Renters are moved into our townhouse, and, luckily, so far so good! After just being in our new place for a little over a week, we already feel at home. Although the new place is much smaller than our old house, all of the space is actually used on a daily basis. In our townhouse because of the multiple levels, Ben never really played in his room, and the stairs.. well don't even get me started. Reminder to myself for the future- never, I repeat, never buy a 3-story home- especially one that you have to walk up stairs to get into the front door.
Things I LOVE about our new place:
It's cozy
It's sooo quiet
The location: We can walk everywhere. Saturday morning Evan walked Ben to breakfast while I slept in... heaven.
It's brand new. No one has lived there before. So I can feel good knowing Ben is crawling all over clean, fresh carpet and floors.
The bathrooms.. one word: awesome
We use ALL of the space.
Ben actually plays in his room, and LOVES it.
We are saving $$$$
Things I could live without:
Parking is not so great
The dryer takes FOREVER
The washer/dryer are much smaller than our old ones
Overall we are so happy with our decision. We're having a little downtown adventure before Ben gets old enough to go to school, and before we decide to have a second child. This also gives us time to really think about what we want when we do decide to buy a house.
Fast forward a few weeks and we are now all moved in to our downtown condo! We love it. Renters are moved into our townhouse, and, luckily, so far so good! After just being in our new place for a little over a week, we already feel at home. Although the new place is much smaller than our old house, all of the space is actually used on a daily basis. In our townhouse because of the multiple levels, Ben never really played in his room, and the stairs.. well don't even get me started. Reminder to myself for the future- never, I repeat, never buy a 3-story home- especially one that you have to walk up stairs to get into the front door.
Things I LOVE about our new place:
It's cozy
It's sooo quiet
The location: We can walk everywhere. Saturday morning Evan walked Ben to breakfast while I slept in... heaven.
It's brand new. No one has lived there before. So I can feel good knowing Ben is crawling all over clean, fresh carpet and floors.
The bathrooms.. one word: awesome
We use ALL of the space.
Ben actually plays in his room, and LOVES it.
We are saving $$$$
Things I could live without:
Parking is not so great
The dryer takes FOREVER
The washer/dryer are much smaller than our old ones
Overall we are so happy with our decision. We're having a little downtown adventure before Ben gets old enough to go to school, and before we decide to have a second child. This also gives us time to really think about what we want when we do decide to buy a house.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Race Schedule
Race Schedule
RESULT: 54:11
RESULT: 33:39
RESULT: 32:47
4. United Way 8K – October 29, 2011 1:00 PM
Start: Moore Square, Downtown Raleigh
5. Monster Dash 5K – Sunday, October 30th 2:00PM
Cameron Village, Raleigh NC
6. Old Reliable 10K – Sunday, November 6th 7:00AM
NC State Bell Tower, Hillsborough St
7. Raleigh Fall Festival 5K – November 13 time TBD
Nash Square, Raleigh
8. Tobacco Road Half Marathon – Sunday, March 18th 7:00AM
Start to be announced soon*****
Oh Yum.
So, I made the absolute BEST brownies last night.Seriously. These things are insane. Chocolate chip cookie dough + double stuff oreos + brownies = heaven. Here is a picture of the finished product:
They were so good that I had to bring them to my office today so everyone could eat them up and I wouldn't gain 100 pounds this weekend. They would be the perfect treat for a tailgate, party, family reunion, doctor's appointment, pedicure... ok, ok.. so basically they are great for any situation where you may want a tasty treat.
I was on a cooking spree yesterday. For dinner I made these delish chicken enchiladas + a Mexican lasagna that will last us through the weekend. It was so good and easy, which is always a plus. Mexican is our fave, we go to a Mexican restaurant close to our house 1-2 times a week, so I figured I needed to start cooking a little to even out paying for dinners out.
Here is the recipe for the enchiladas:
3 chicken breasts cooked and shredded (I boiled the chicken and then chopped it up- easy!)
2 small cans of Old El Paso green chilies
1 red onion
1 tomato
1 8oz container of low-fat cream cheese
1 bag of Mission tortillas
1 bag of Mexican cheese (I always buy the store brand)
1 tbs veggie oil
*Preheat oven to 350
1. Boil Chicken. Remove from water once fully cooked, set aside to let cool.
2. Chop onion, tomato, and in a skillet over medium heat, add oil, green chilies, tomato and onion.
3. Sweat until onions are translucent.
4. While the tomato/onion/chili mix is cooking- chop chicken up finely (or shred) whichever works for you.
5. In a bowl combine chicken with cream cheese.
6. Add chicken mixture to skillet with tomato/onion/chilies
7. Cook until warm.
8. Stuff the tortillas with the chicken mixture and wrap up. They will look sort of like this (minus the sauce and cheese)
9. Place in greased brownie pan and cook at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes. With 15 left to cook add the cheese on top.
This is such an easy dish to improvise too.. you can add corn, beans, etc.. I don't like enchilada sauce, so I don't add it to my dish. But, if you like it, go for it. Mexican is so easy, but so good. YUM.
They were so good that I had to bring them to my office today so everyone could eat them up and I wouldn't gain 100 pounds this weekend. They would be the perfect treat for a tailgate, party, family reunion, doctor's appointment, pedicure... ok, ok.. so basically they are great for any situation where you may want a tasty treat.
I was on a cooking spree yesterday. For dinner I made these delish chicken enchiladas + a Mexican lasagna that will last us through the weekend. It was so good and easy, which is always a plus. Mexican is our fave, we go to a Mexican restaurant close to our house 1-2 times a week, so I figured I needed to start cooking a little to even out paying for dinners out.
Here is the recipe for the enchiladas:
3 chicken breasts cooked and shredded (I boiled the chicken and then chopped it up- easy!)
2 small cans of Old El Paso green chilies
1 red onion
1 tomato
1 8oz container of low-fat cream cheese
1 bag of Mission tortillas
1 bag of Mexican cheese (I always buy the store brand)
1 tbs veggie oil
*Preheat oven to 350
1. Boil Chicken. Remove from water once fully cooked, set aside to let cool.
2. Chop onion, tomato, and in a skillet over medium heat, add oil, green chilies, tomato and onion.
3. Sweat until onions are translucent.
4. While the tomato/onion/chili mix is cooking- chop chicken up finely (or shred) whichever works for you.
5. In a bowl combine chicken with cream cheese.
6. Add chicken mixture to skillet with tomato/onion/chilies
7. Cook until warm.
8. Stuff the tortillas with the chicken mixture and wrap up. They will look sort of like this (minus the sauce and cheese)
This is such an easy dish to improvise too.. you can add corn, beans, etc.. I don't like enchilada sauce, so I don't add it to my dish. But, if you like it, go for it. Mexican is so easy, but so good. YUM.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
I Blinked and Ben is Now 9 Months Old
I don't understand how time has flown by so fast. I swear.. once Ben turned 3 months old it seems like my life has been on fast forward times 3. Ben will be 9 months old on the 30th, and I wanted to give a little update on little man's life thus far.
Ben has been crawling since 6 months, and now pulls up, climbs up the stairs (in less than 1 minute), he can push his walker himself- but only a few steps. I really think that in 1.5 months he will be walking. I'm trying to deviate a plan to stop this, because once he starts walking it's really going to get crazier in our household. I won't need to work out anymore because I'll be chasing Ben around all day.
Sleeping has been our biggest challenge in the recent weeks. I mentioned in an earlier post that Ben had been sleeping with us.. well, wait for it.... not anymore! We started "Ferberizing" him last week. Which means that we let him cry in his crib for a few minutes, then go comfort him, then let him cry, them comfort him, and repeat until he falls asleep. So far I would call it a success. The first three nights were rough though because he threw up in his crib- talk about feeling like a bad mom. My poor child cried so hard he puked- go me. I felt like s**t, and almost stopped the process, but with assurance from my doc and other mommies I continued on, and am glad because Ben is now falling asleep every night between 7:45-8, all while putting up a weaker fight each night. He will pass out from 8-1, but then at 1am he decides to wake up. This is normally the hardest part of the night, because it normally takes us a few hours to get him to go back to sleep. Often we have to give him a bottle- which we try to avoid, but in the middle of the night it's kind of hard to not do what you know will help him sleep. Evan is the strong one at night, because I'm always like "forget this, let's put him in the bed" which obviously would be 4398243 steps backward. Thank goodness Evan is there to be strong and get him back to sleep..whew. Hopefully within a few more days (weeks) he will be resting peacefully for a solid 10-12 hours and I can dance around my house with joy.
Ben eats everything, including meat. Happy Baby makes chicken and turkey "meals" that are all organic, and good for Ben. To me, and I'm sure to everyone else, they look like cat food, but to Ben they are a gourmet meal. Yum? I've also started feeding him more table foods. For example, if we go grab Mexican at night, I always order Ben a plate of sliced avocado, and smush it up with my fork- it's his fave. Avocado is definitely his new favorite food. I guess the smushy, soft and buttery texture feels good on his little gums because he will eat it up in t-minus 30 seconds. He's also eating pasta with olive oil, and plain rice + his usual fruits and veggies . No sugar or salt yet (or ever)..yeah right.
Speaking of gums, Ben now has two bottom teeth and two top center teeth for (duh) a total of 4 adorable, sparkling white teeth. I love his top teeth because they have a charming little gap between them. He's very shy about letting you feel and/or see his teeth, so consider yourself lucky if you've seen his elusive little gap teeth- they're awesome.
Ben now has a pretty extensive vocab too! His first words were "uh oh" which was discovered by our wonderfully nanny, Liz. She was strolling him through the mall one day when he dropped his toy and exclaimed "uh oh!". How cute is that?? Liz says she has probably said it around him a lot when he dropped his toys. I love it. Now every time he dropped something he shouts "uh oh!". It's awesome. He also waves and says "bye bye". If anyone around him says "bye" he automatically starts waving. I will have to upload a video, because it's too cute for words. Ok.. Ok, I've got to stop because I'm gushing, and it's annoying I know. But, I'm sorry- Ben's awesome and if you don't like it, don't read my blog- haha!
Other (questionable) words that he has said are bad and button. I say questionable because I can't decide if he means to say them or if his sounds just sound like the words. He said "baaaaa- ahd" while I was changing his diaper yesterday. He has a really bad diaper rash which stemmed from him being constipated over the weekend (I'll spare you the details), so changing him is really uncomfortable to him. So he was crying, and I was wiping, and I said "I'm sorry Ben, that silly diaper rash is BAD!" and he repeated me by saying "bahhhh-aaahd". It was really funny.
I'm trying to think if there is anything else extraordinary that I've left out. Ben now weighs 20.3 pounds and his between 29 and 30 inches long. He wears a size 12-18 months shirt, but 6 month pants because his waist is teeny tiny. It's funny because all his pants are like little Capri's. Evan doesn't think it's too funny though because he said he was always teased in school because his pants were too short. Evan said I can never ever ask Ben "where's the flood?".
We are so lucky to have him in our lives. We thank God every night for our awesome little Ben-man. Pictures to come-- I promise!
Ben has been crawling since 6 months, and now pulls up, climbs up the stairs (in less than 1 minute), he can push his walker himself- but only a few steps. I really think that in 1.5 months he will be walking. I'm trying to deviate a plan to stop this, because once he starts walking it's really going to get crazier in our household. I won't need to work out anymore because I'll be chasing Ben around all day.
Sleeping has been our biggest challenge in the recent weeks. I mentioned in an earlier post that Ben had been sleeping with us.. well, wait for it.... not anymore! We started "Ferberizing" him last week. Which means that we let him cry in his crib for a few minutes, then go comfort him, then let him cry, them comfort him, and repeat until he falls asleep. So far I would call it a success. The first three nights were rough though because he threw up in his crib- talk about feeling like a bad mom. My poor child cried so hard he puked- go me. I felt like s**t, and almost stopped the process, but with assurance from my doc and other mommies I continued on, and am glad because Ben is now falling asleep every night between 7:45-8, all while putting up a weaker fight each night. He will pass out from 8-1, but then at 1am he decides to wake up. This is normally the hardest part of the night, because it normally takes us a few hours to get him to go back to sleep. Often we have to give him a bottle- which we try to avoid, but in the middle of the night it's kind of hard to not do what you know will help him sleep. Evan is the strong one at night, because I'm always like "forget this, let's put him in the bed" which obviously would be 4398243 steps backward. Thank goodness Evan is there to be strong and get him back to sleep..whew. Hopefully within a few more days (weeks) he will be resting peacefully for a solid 10-12 hours and I can dance around my house with joy.
Ben eats everything, including meat. Happy Baby makes chicken and turkey "meals" that are all organic, and good for Ben. To me, and I'm sure to everyone else, they look like cat food, but to Ben they are a gourmet meal. Yum? I've also started feeding him more table foods. For example, if we go grab Mexican at night, I always order Ben a plate of sliced avocado, and smush it up with my fork- it's his fave. Avocado is definitely his new favorite food. I guess the smushy, soft and buttery texture feels good on his little gums because he will eat it up in t-minus 30 seconds. He's also eating pasta with olive oil, and plain rice + his usual fruits and veggies . No sugar or salt yet (or ever)..yeah right.
Speaking of gums, Ben now has two bottom teeth and two top center teeth for (duh) a total of 4 adorable, sparkling white teeth. I love his top teeth because they have a charming little gap between them. He's very shy about letting you feel and/or see his teeth, so consider yourself lucky if you've seen his elusive little gap teeth- they're awesome.
Ben now has a pretty extensive vocab too! His first words were "uh oh" which was discovered by our wonderfully nanny, Liz. She was strolling him through the mall one day when he dropped his toy and exclaimed "uh oh!". How cute is that?? Liz says she has probably said it around him a lot when he dropped his toys. I love it. Now every time he dropped something he shouts "uh oh!". It's awesome. He also waves and says "bye bye". If anyone around him says "bye" he automatically starts waving. I will have to upload a video, because it's too cute for words. Ok.. Ok, I've got to stop because I'm gushing, and it's annoying I know. But, I'm sorry- Ben's awesome and if you don't like it, don't read my blog- haha!
Other (questionable) words that he has said are bad and button. I say questionable because I can't decide if he means to say them or if his sounds just sound like the words. He said "baaaaa- ahd" while I was changing his diaper yesterday. He has a really bad diaper rash which stemmed from him being constipated over the weekend (I'll spare you the details), so changing him is really uncomfortable to him. So he was crying, and I was wiping, and I said "I'm sorry Ben, that silly diaper rash is BAD!" and he repeated me by saying "bahhhh-aaahd". It was really funny.
I'm trying to think if there is anything else extraordinary that I've left out. Ben now weighs 20.3 pounds and his between 29 and 30 inches long. He wears a size 12-18 months shirt, but 6 month pants because his waist is teeny tiny. It's funny because all his pants are like little Capri's. Evan doesn't think it's too funny though because he said he was always teased in school because his pants were too short. Evan said I can never ever ask Ben "where's the flood?".
We are so lucky to have him in our lives. We thank God every night for our awesome little Ben-man. Pictures to come-- I promise!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Playing Catch-up
Well, it has definitely been a while since I've posted- which I attribute to the fact that our little family has been very busy. Between beach trips, races, family reunions, etc., I haven't had any time to catch up!
So, let's start with the 8K I ran August 27. This race happened to coincide with Hurricane Irene who delightfully made her presence known when we started running. It really wasn't that bad, just a little windy and rainy. I thought it added to the excitement of my first big race! I ran with Leigh and Wes. Who both beat me. I was extremely proud of myself though, because I ran the entire thing with an official time of 54:11 (that's under 11:00/mile pace y'all). I know, I'm still pretty slow, but I'm working on that. Overall, it was a great experience, and I can't wait to improve my run times.
We also squeezed a family reunion into the mix. Ben was, of course, a perfect little angel ;). He LOVES it when the attention is on him. I LOVE it when the attention is on him because I get a little break ;) <--huge wink. We had a blast. It was great that Ben was able to meet my entire extended family. We only get to see each other about once a year, so family reunions are so fun and so important.
Now let's fast-forward to September. We returned from Corolla, NC last week (more pictures to come, I promise). Our trip was cut a little bit short because Ben got a cold, and was miserable the last two days. It was hard for us to leave our friends, but we knew it was better to get him back home and away from all of the other babies so not to spread his germs.
One thing that is for sure though, vacations are NOT the same. This is both a good and bad thing. I'm not going to sugar-coat it... going to the beach was hard work. HAHA. I know you're probably rolling your eyes thinking I'm a spoiled brat for complaining about my vacation, but I don't care. There were 4 babies under 9 months in one house which was adorable, but everyone was busy with their own child, meaning no one really ever got the opportunity to say "here, watch him/her while I go on a walk/have a drink/take a nap". As parents we were on patrol 24/7. Next year I'm bringing a babysitter!!!! I think the fact that Ben wasn't feeling well, and extra fussy/not sleeping made it worse. The first few nights he was literally up every hour crying. That was hard. BUT on a positive note, it was so fun to hang out with friends we haven't seen in a while, and meet their babies (or future babies- Brad and Dawn Dee we can't wait until November!).
....to be continued
So, let's start with the 8K I ran August 27. This race happened to coincide with Hurricane Irene who delightfully made her presence known when we started running. It really wasn't that bad, just a little windy and rainy. I thought it added to the excitement of my first big race! I ran with Leigh and Wes. Who both beat me. I was extremely proud of myself though, because I ran the entire thing with an official time of 54:11 (that's under 11:00/mile pace y'all). I know, I'm still pretty slow, but I'm working on that. Overall, it was a great experience, and I can't wait to improve my run times.
We also squeezed a family reunion into the mix. Ben was, of course, a perfect little angel ;). He LOVES it when the attention is on him. I LOVE it when the attention is on him because I get a little break ;) <--huge wink. We had a blast. It was great that Ben was able to meet my entire extended family. We only get to see each other about once a year, so family reunions are so fun and so important.
Now let's fast-forward to September. We returned from Corolla, NC last week (more pictures to come, I promise). Our trip was cut a little bit short because Ben got a cold, and was miserable the last two days. It was hard for us to leave our friends, but we knew it was better to get him back home and away from all of the other babies so not to spread his germs.
One thing that is for sure though, vacations are NOT the same. This is both a good and bad thing. I'm not going to sugar-coat it... going to the beach was hard work. HAHA. I know you're probably rolling your eyes thinking I'm a spoiled brat for complaining about my vacation, but I don't care. There were 4 babies under 9 months in one house which was adorable, but everyone was busy with their own child, meaning no one really ever got the opportunity to say "here, watch him/her while I go on a walk/have a drink/take a nap". As parents we were on patrol 24/7. Next year I'm bringing a babysitter!!!! I think the fact that Ben wasn't feeling well, and extra fussy/not sleeping made it worse. The first few nights he was literally up every hour crying. That was hard. BUT on a positive note, it was so fun to hang out with friends we haven't seen in a while, and meet their babies (or future babies- Brad and Dawn Dee we can't wait until November!).
....to be continued
Friday, August 19, 2011
Am I Crazy?
So.. I've signed myself up for several races leading up to my goal of running a half-marathon in March 2012. Am I crazy? I have continued running everyday for the past 2-3 weeks and honestly, have really enjoyed it. Yes, the first few days sucked, but now I look so forward to my daily run. I know I'm not covering long distances yet, but when I ran 2 miles straight the other day, I was very proud of myself. I still have my 5 mile race coming up on the 27th, which I am extremely nervous about, but I'm hoping it won't be so bad. We'll see!
Race schedule:
5K October 8
5K October 30 (with Ben in the stroller dressed in his Halloween costume) I'm so excited about this race!
10K November 6
Half-Marathon March 2012 (AHH)
Any of you runners out there please feel free to offer your running tips. I need them! This is something that I really didn't think I would like, but now that I've gotten into it, it has been great "me" time. I run while listening to books on tape, which to some I'm sure sounds boring, but I really like it. It makes the time FLY by.
Race schedule:
5K October 8
5K October 30 (with Ben in the stroller dressed in his Halloween costume) I'm so excited about this race!
10K November 6
Half-Marathon March 2012 (AHH)
Any of you runners out there please feel free to offer your running tips. I need them! This is something that I really didn't think I would like, but now that I've gotten into it, it has been great "me" time. I run while listening to books on tape, which to some I'm sure sounds boring, but I really like it. It makes the time FLY by.
Friday, August 12, 2011
I was running! (in my best Forrest Gump voice)
So.. in addition to trying to cut back carbs (which I have continued to do, although now I allow myself some nibbles of carbs every now and then) I have also started running and working out pretty hard every day. I know this doesn't sound like much, especially to those of you who have worked out several times a week for years and years, but I have officially worked out every day for 8 whole days in a row. This is big time y'all. My friend Leigh encouraged me to sign up for a 5 mile run here in Raleigh on August 27, and I have been training for that. I'll never to run the entire 5 miles by August 27, but I'm going to try really hard! I've already lined up a few other races in October and November to keep my motivated and to keep my running after the August 27 race. So far I've been running 1 mile per day, and just yesterday I bumped it up to 1.25 miles. Hopefully by this time next week I'll be able to do 1.75-2 miles (crossing my fingers). My overall goal is to be able to run 5 solid <10 minute miles consecutively. I know this will take time, and I have a 10K scheduled November 6 to test my progress. We'll see!
Anyways.. In addition to running I also add 20-30 mins of moderately intense "rolling hills" on the StairMaster, and about 15 minutes of weights. (I have to do my workouts in 1 hour or less because that's how long the nursery at the Y will watch Ben).
I know this probably doesn't sound like much, but for me it's a big deal. I'm trying to take baby steps so I don't get overwhelmed, and my goal is not to be skinny, but to be healthy. Posting this helps keep me accountable as well.
In Ben news- he is still all over the place. This boy is now pulling himself up, and crawling like crazy. He has figured out the stairs too. Nice! He's our little wild child.
We've also just listed our house! So.. if anyone is interested in an awesome 3 BR 3.5 bath townhouse in Raleighwood, let me know!
Anyways.. In addition to running I also add 20-30 mins of moderately intense "rolling hills" on the StairMaster, and about 15 minutes of weights. (I have to do my workouts in 1 hour or less because that's how long the nursery at the Y will watch Ben).
I know this probably doesn't sound like much, but for me it's a big deal. I'm trying to take baby steps so I don't get overwhelmed, and my goal is not to be skinny, but to be healthy. Posting this helps keep me accountable as well.
In Ben news- he is still all over the place. This boy is now pulling himself up, and crawling like crazy. He has figured out the stairs too. Nice! He's our little wild child.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Gotta Get Down on Friday
I'm going to make this post short and sweet. TGIF is all I have to say. Bring on the weekend. What what.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Ahhhh Postpartum Anxiety
**I am obviously not a doctor- so this is absolutely NOT medical advice, I just simply wanted to share my story.
So, I'm taking a big risk by writing this post. I wanted to share my postpartum story because I feel like many other moms probably went through the same things that I did or at least something similar- and if this can make someone else feel a little bit better about their postpartum days, then it's worth it to air my dirty laundry.
So.. let's do a little background check first. The entire time I was pregnant I was absolutely horrified by PP Depression. I have no idea why.. I have never really been depressed in my entire life (except for maybe in middle school at some point, but I think that if you are a girl, and you were ever in middle school, then you were probably depressed at some point- those days were brutal, huh?). Anyways, the stories about moms who didn't want to take care of their babies scared the crap out of me, mainly because I didn't understand it at ALL. How could you not want to care for your child? I know, I know, that sounds incredibly judgmental, but it's the truth- I honestly didn't understand it so therefore, it scared me.
Let's fast forward to Ben's arrival. The first 6 weeks were great. Of course I went through the whole first 7-10 days of baby blues where you're completely overwhelmed and tired and feeling a little bit crazy, but that (luckily) went away and after about 2 weeks I was feeling (somewhat) back to normal. Of course I was extremely tired, but I felt overall pretty good. So at this point (about 5 weeks into it) I was feeling pretty confident that I had dodged the bullet on PP depression/anxiety etc.. Then it hit me. Ben was exactly 6 weeks old and I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed. I didn't feel sad really, but I just felt this overwhelming sense of anxiety. I was all of the sudden freaking out that Evan was going to get in a car accident on his way to work (it got so bad I even looked up car crash statistics- I know, right??). I couldn't even look at a knife or a pair of scissors without having these awful visions of Ben somehow getting stabbed by them.. weird, I know. And don't even get me started on my back porch. I was terrified of it. I didn't even want to walk outside because I was so scared that Ben would somehow fall off. These thoughts seriously scared me so bad that most days I would bawl. What would my life be without Ben or Evan?? So scary. During this time it was really hard for me to eat/sleep too, which absolutely didn't help a THING.
So, after about a day or two of feeling not quite right, I made a doctor's appointment. It scared me that I was having the thoughts about the knives/porch/car accidents. I was terrified that in some weird, unconscious part of my brain it meant that I wanted to hurt my child- which obviously sent shivers down my spine. I, in NO way, wanted anything to ever happen to Ben. Most of the time I didn't want him out of my sight. What in the hell was going on with me???
The next day I went to see the doctor. She told me that I wasn't depressed, but that I had some major anxiety issues, that were probably triggered by my hormones, and it might be helpful to go see a postpartum psychiatrist to discuss. I was all for it. I wanted to feel better, and I felt confident that I was taking the right steps to feel better.
Here are some examples of the thoughts I was having:
Therapy was both good and bad. I was very up front with the doctor, letting her know that I did not want to take any medications, I just wanted to learn some relaxation techniques that would help me relax and sleep better. Well, unfortunately, she was very pushy in trying to get me to take an anti-depressant. Please don't get me wrong, I know that there are some people that really need medicine, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that- but I just didn't really want to go that route. I also noticed that the more I talked about being anxious, the worse I felt. It was almost like every week before my appointment I would build up scary things to tell her so we would have something to talk about. I believe it was around the third session that the doctor told me I needed to take medicine. I didn't feel comfortable with this since I had told her so many times before that I didn't want to take anything, but she was the doctor, and I decided I needed to listen to her...
I was then described an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. Here's when things got really bad. The first two days taking the medicine I felt so awful. I know part of it stemmed from the fear I had of just taking the medicine, and part of it was the side effects. It made me feel like I was crawling out of my skin and it also affected my sleep. I literally didn't sleep for THREE days. As if I wasn't feeling crazy enough, after not sleeping for three nights, I seriously thought I was going to lose it. I'm not exaggerating either. I was almost delirious. Up until this point the anxiety I was experiencing was not affecting how I was caring for Ben. I could get through it. But, once I lost those three nights of sleep I felt doomed. How could I watch Ben adequately without sleep???? So.. my dear, sweet, wonderful grandmother came to my rescue. I don't know what I would have done without her. I stopped taking the medicine after 3 days and let my grandmother actually help me. I ended up spending the night at her house that night, leaving Ben and Evan at home. I needed my sleep. And although I cried so hard leaving them, it was very important for my mental and physical health that I slept.
Once I got a full night's sleep, everything got better. I realized that Ben didn't need me 100% of the time. I could trust other people to take care of him when I needed to take care of myself. I also realized that sleep is seriously so important. I also learned to trust myself. I knew I didn't want to take any medicine, and I knew in my heart that I didn't need it. I still feel guilty to this day that I let the dr. talk me into taking it. Again, don't get me wrong- I know medicine does really, really help some people- and if it helps you, go for it (but under a doctor's supervision ONLY).
Weeks 6-12 of Ben's life were very hard for me. But, I did learn a lot. You WILL get through it. I know my story is probably very extreme compared to most people's postpartum experiences, but I just hope that maybe, if you've had a baby and you're not feeling quite right that this will help- and it's normal. I also realize that there are moms who had it a lot worse than I did, and I'm very lucky to have only gone through 6 weeks of roller coaster emotions. I learned that my weird, obsessive thoughts about knives, porches, car accidents, etc are fairly common amoung new moms- and that as long as the thoughts scare the SHIT out of you, then you are not going to do anything to let your baby get hurt. It's when the thoughts don't scare you that you should worry! LOTS of moms go through this, but I really believe some people are afraid to talk about it. Whether it's anxiety, like me, or depression, your hormones can do funny things that you can't control and it's VERY important that you get the help that you need. You deserve to enjoy every minute of your baby's childhood.
Things that help when I'm feeling anxious:
Please girls, use your head. If you are feeling completely overwhelmed and none of the above tips help you, don't be afraid to call your doctor. And OBVIOUSLY, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby.. CALL 911!
To learn more about PP Anxiety, go here, don't rely on me!
So, I'm taking a big risk by writing this post. I wanted to share my postpartum story because I feel like many other moms probably went through the same things that I did or at least something similar- and if this can make someone else feel a little bit better about their postpartum days, then it's worth it to air my dirty laundry.
So.. let's do a little background check first. The entire time I was pregnant I was absolutely horrified by PP Depression. I have no idea why.. I have never really been depressed in my entire life (except for maybe in middle school at some point, but I think that if you are a girl, and you were ever in middle school, then you were probably depressed at some point- those days were brutal, huh?). Anyways, the stories about moms who didn't want to take care of their babies scared the crap out of me, mainly because I didn't understand it at ALL. How could you not want to care for your child? I know, I know, that sounds incredibly judgmental, but it's the truth- I honestly didn't understand it so therefore, it scared me.
Let's fast forward to Ben's arrival. The first 6 weeks were great. Of course I went through the whole first 7-10 days of baby blues where you're completely overwhelmed and tired and feeling a little bit crazy, but that (luckily) went away and after about 2 weeks I was feeling (somewhat) back to normal. Of course I was extremely tired, but I felt overall pretty good. So at this point (about 5 weeks into it) I was feeling pretty confident that I had dodged the bullet on PP depression/anxiety etc.. Then it hit me. Ben was exactly 6 weeks old and I woke up feeling completely overwhelmed. I didn't feel sad really, but I just felt this overwhelming sense of anxiety. I was all of the sudden freaking out that Evan was going to get in a car accident on his way to work (it got so bad I even looked up car crash statistics- I know, right??). I couldn't even look at a knife or a pair of scissors without having these awful visions of Ben somehow getting stabbed by them.. weird, I know. And don't even get me started on my back porch. I was terrified of it. I didn't even want to walk outside because I was so scared that Ben would somehow fall off. These thoughts seriously scared me so bad that most days I would bawl. What would my life be without Ben or Evan?? So scary. During this time it was really hard for me to eat/sleep too, which absolutely didn't help a THING.
So, after about a day or two of feeling not quite right, I made a doctor's appointment. It scared me that I was having the thoughts about the knives/porch/car accidents. I was terrified that in some weird, unconscious part of my brain it meant that I wanted to hurt my child- which obviously sent shivers down my spine. I, in NO way, wanted anything to ever happen to Ben. Most of the time I didn't want him out of my sight. What in the hell was going on with me???
The next day I went to see the doctor. She told me that I wasn't depressed, but that I had some major anxiety issues, that were probably triggered by my hormones, and it might be helpful to go see a postpartum psychiatrist to discuss. I was all for it. I wanted to feel better, and I felt confident that I was taking the right steps to feel better.
Here are some examples of the thoughts I was having:
- Instead of worrying about the present, I would find myself already worrying about Ben when he gets old (driving, doing drugs, drinking, his feelings getting hurt in school, bullying...etc).
- I would think about mistakes I had made in the past and totally dwell on those, worrying myself sick over "what ifs".
- Car accidents, me getting sick, Evan getting sick, Ben getting sick. You name it, I'm sure I worried about it at some point during those 6 weeks.
Therapy was both good and bad. I was very up front with the doctor, letting her know that I did not want to take any medications, I just wanted to learn some relaxation techniques that would help me relax and sleep better. Well, unfortunately, she was very pushy in trying to get me to take an anti-depressant. Please don't get me wrong, I know that there are some people that really need medicine, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that- but I just didn't really want to go that route. I also noticed that the more I talked about being anxious, the worse I felt. It was almost like every week before my appointment I would build up scary things to tell her so we would have something to talk about. I believe it was around the third session that the doctor told me I needed to take medicine. I didn't feel comfortable with this since I had told her so many times before that I didn't want to take anything, but she was the doctor, and I decided I needed to listen to her...
I was then described an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication. Here's when things got really bad. The first two days taking the medicine I felt so awful. I know part of it stemmed from the fear I had of just taking the medicine, and part of it was the side effects. It made me feel like I was crawling out of my skin and it also affected my sleep. I literally didn't sleep for THREE days. As if I wasn't feeling crazy enough, after not sleeping for three nights, I seriously thought I was going to lose it. I'm not exaggerating either. I was almost delirious. Up until this point the anxiety I was experiencing was not affecting how I was caring for Ben. I could get through it. But, once I lost those three nights of sleep I felt doomed. How could I watch Ben adequately without sleep???? So.. my dear, sweet, wonderful grandmother came to my rescue. I don't know what I would have done without her. I stopped taking the medicine after 3 days and let my grandmother actually help me. I ended up spending the night at her house that night, leaving Ben and Evan at home. I needed my sleep. And although I cried so hard leaving them, it was very important for my mental and physical health that I slept.
Once I got a full night's sleep, everything got better. I realized that Ben didn't need me 100% of the time. I could trust other people to take care of him when I needed to take care of myself. I also realized that sleep is seriously so important. I also learned to trust myself. I knew I didn't want to take any medicine, and I knew in my heart that I didn't need it. I still feel guilty to this day that I let the dr. talk me into taking it. Again, don't get me wrong- I know medicine does really, really help some people- and if it helps you, go for it (but under a doctor's supervision ONLY).
Weeks 6-12 of Ben's life were very hard for me. But, I did learn a lot. You WILL get through it. I know my story is probably very extreme compared to most people's postpartum experiences, but I just hope that maybe, if you've had a baby and you're not feeling quite right that this will help- and it's normal. I also realize that there are moms who had it a lot worse than I did, and I'm very lucky to have only gone through 6 weeks of roller coaster emotions. I learned that my weird, obsessive thoughts about knives, porches, car accidents, etc are fairly common amoung new moms- and that as long as the thoughts scare the SHIT out of you, then you are not going to do anything to let your baby get hurt. It's when the thoughts don't scare you that you should worry! LOTS of moms go through this, but I really believe some people are afraid to talk about it. Whether it's anxiety, like me, or depression, your hormones can do funny things that you can't control and it's VERY important that you get the help that you need. You deserve to enjoy every minute of your baby's childhood.
Things that help when I'm feeling anxious:
- Getting Outside- even if it's only for 5-10 minutes, just taking a walk makes me feel better.
- Exercise- let someone else watch the baby and get a good 30-60 minutes of cardio in. It will clear your head and help you feel better.
- LET PEOPLE HELP YOU!! I got so overwhelmed because at first I wouldn't let anyone help me do anything. I was losing sleep that way, and honestly, it started making me feel a little trapped. Let family/friends/husbands/boyfriends/lovers(haha) help you.
- GO TO TARGET- Haha.. I know this sounds funny, but sometimes, even still today, if I need some "me" time I jump in the car and go to target. It relaxing to me to walk up and down the aisles and just look at stuff. This may sound totally boring to some people, but I love it, and it helps me!
- Take your vitamins. I take a prenatal vitamin still, plus a B-Vitamin combo. I was also told (if you are nursing) to take extra Vitamin D.
- Drink LOTS of water. Eat well too. Don't fill your body up with junk- because it will make you feel like junk.
- Stay away from alcohol. Although one drink may ease your anxiety temporarily, relying on it will only make you feel worse in the long run.
- Talk about how you feel. This is one thing I am VERY proud of myself for doing. I talked to anyone who would listen about how I felt. Even if the person that I was talking to didn't want to listen, it helped me to get out my thoughts. Talk. talk. talk. And if you don't have anyone to talk to- write it.
Please girls, use your head. If you are feeling completely overwhelmed and none of the above tips help you, don't be afraid to call your doctor. And OBVIOUSLY, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby.. CALL 911!
To learn more about PP Anxiety, go here, don't rely on me!
Carb Free...
So... this past Monday marked 4 weeks that I have been carb free (minus a little bit of cheating while I was at the beach). I have cut out all bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, sugar, etc... basically everything good. My diet now mostly consists of lean meats, veggies, low carb fruits, water, vitamins, nuts, and Breyers Low-Carb ice cream :) with the occasional glass of red wine. When Ben got here, and while I was still nursing, I was seriously obsessed with carbs. Bread, pasta, rice, ANYTHING. I guess I just needed whatever could give me energy quick, because I craved it all- and it was all so bad for me. Now don't get me wrong, I completely understand that it is totally OK to eat whole grains and healthy carbs, but that was not what I was doing. My diet was seriously white, as in, white potatoes (french fries, baked potatoes, hash browns) or white bread (biscuits, rolls, pancakes)... I am honestly kind of embarrassed that it got so bad. Somehow I still managed to lose the majority of my baby weight, but I still had/have about 10 pounds I want to lose. So, about a month ago I decided I was going to give up all of those bad carbs cold turkey for about 4-6 weeks, and then slowly reintroduce "good" carbs back into my diet. My parents are on low carb diets (my dad is diabetic, and my mom does it to support my dad) and it has really helped them. My dad hasn't taken insulin since he started, which was right after Ben was born, and he has also lost about 55 pounds- and counting. My mom is already tiny, but she is working out a lot and in great shape.
My goal is to lose a total of 15 pounds. So far I've lost about 7-8. The first few days of the diet were absolutely brutal. I had no energy, and was seriously starving ALL of the time. But starting on about the 4th day I started feeling so much better. I wasn't hungry all of the time. I didn't have a headache all day. Also, oddly enough, my anxiety level was much lower. It was already fairly low to begin with (since Ben was about 12 weeks old, but before that it was a different story!), but I noticed a definite change. I have been sleeping better too. This is very important because I am not a good sleeper. I'm serious- I am a serial benadryl-taker at night, but for the past few weeks I haven't had to take my usual 1/2 dose to fall asleep, which is great!
Some of my fave dinners are:
Grilled Chicken <--try this recipe
Filet with asparagus
Zucchini and squash chopped up and baked with EVOO.. yum. I also sometimes add red onion and red pepper to jazz it up a little bit.
My goal is to lose a total of 15 pounds. So far I've lost about 7-8. The first few days of the diet were absolutely brutal. I had no energy, and was seriously starving ALL of the time. But starting on about the 4th day I started feeling so much better. I wasn't hungry all of the time. I didn't have a headache all day. Also, oddly enough, my anxiety level was much lower. It was already fairly low to begin with (since Ben was about 12 weeks old, but before that it was a different story!), but I noticed a definite change. I have been sleeping better too. This is very important because I am not a good sleeper. I'm serious- I am a serial benadryl-taker at night, but for the past few weeks I haven't had to take my usual 1/2 dose to fall asleep, which is great!
Some of my fave dinners are:
Grilled Chicken <--try this recipe
Filet with asparagus
Zucchini and squash chopped up and baked with EVOO.. yum. I also sometimes add red onion and red pepper to jazz it up a little bit.
At first this diet sounds awful, but honestly there are plenty of options to keep things interesting. I probably eat a larger variety of foods now than I did before I started doing the low carb thang.
Hopefully it will continue to be this easy. I'll keep you updated!
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